Oh wait...

J crawled into M's lap and they both got a little nap.

So after a great first week, the weekend has been pretty tough.  Saturday M got progressively slower.  Sunday morning he got up to go to church and just couldn't do anything.  He didn't have the energy to really do anything that he needed to do.  We went off to church and left him at home.  He went back to bed and had a good nap.  It was nice to have him home when we got back.  He was still feeling utterly wasted.  Not nauseated, just like he had been hit by a truck.  Not a great day for him.  He perked up a little in the evening when we had lots of visitors.  Several from his work who came with freezer meals and food.  It was nice to see their babies and visit with them. 

These kids keep it lively!

Fluids

M enjoying the blue sky while getting hydrated.

M had a scheduled blood draw on Monday.  Right before leaving to go he realized he didn't think he should be driving himself.  He texted a friend that was able to come pick him up and drop him off.  When he got to the office they could see after talking to him and taking his blood that he needed more fluids.  So they hooked him up and got him hydrated.  It took me a while to figure out that he was getting more done than the routine blood draw.  I felt like a bit of a failure at keeping him fueled and ready.  Apparently I can't listen to him when he says he doesn't want to eat!  So more calories and more fluids will help a lot.  We'll be ready for next time.

First Week of Chemo

M is done with his first week of chemo.  One fourth done!  The first week went way better than expected.  He even did a big walk on Thursday with the little boys around our neighborhood.  He was tired that night but bounced back for Friday.

The first day he was coming off a night shift and mostly slept.

The treatment week isn't all bad... turns out there are some silver linings.  I'm so grateful for good friends that have watched the little boys for me so that I could go and be with him for a portion of everyday.  So far the routine is that he goes in the morning.  I get the boys ready and to their spot, and then I meet him in the morning.  I then get stay and snuggle my baby, read and discuss a book with M, and eat lunch together.  Then I pack C up and we head home to get the boys.  I then try to throw in laundry and pay lots of attention to RM and J before B-man gets home from school. 

Hard to be sad looking at her!

My view from the corner of the room.

Playing airplane when I got home.

These boys need lots of physical play.

1st One Done

First round of chemo=done!

Happy to cross that off the list.  Tomorrow we go back for more.  So far so good.

His potions.

M worked a nights last night.  So he mostly slept.

February 16, 2014

February 16, 2014

Dear Family and Friends,

In my head I am wondering if I am crazy.

On the lift.

I love J carrying his skis.

This week has been a whirl wind of activity.  Trying to fit in a lot of different things.  Monday we were up early and going to Chemo Class.  Very informative and the take-away for both of us was to not try to be a hero, and take the extra medicine when M needs it.  If he's nauseous, take the meds; headache, take the meds, etc...  Then we met with the doctor and came home to get ready for a fun family getaway.  M fed the boys lunch while I fed C, then I rushed around and packed overnight bags and snow clothes for everyone.  Then we were out the door.  After getting gas we surprised B-man and picked him up from school.  We drove about an hour to a ski resort in Pennsylvania.  They boys were all really excited.  We got into our room and set up shop.  The room was nice and looked out over the mountain. B-man, J, and I all started to get dressed for skiing.  We were trying to hurry to get B-man into a lesson that came with his ski pass, but in the end we just didn't worry about it.   We got dressed, rented skis, and then got ready to hit the slopes.  B-man looked at me and said "Where's my gloves?"  Hmmm, so after a quick phone call to M in the room I ran and got the gloves.  Then we headed off.  J had never been skiing before, and I wasn't sure how long he would last so I didn't want to pay for a lesson. A friend had lent us skis and his pass was free, so I figured we would just do it as long as he wanted.  J and B-man were very excited.  The ski resort had a great bunny slope that even had a lift.  It was a very slow lift and a very long slow hill, perfect to learn on.  We got on without a problem and J fell on the way off.  He fell a lot the first half down, and he wanted to give up.  But the last half he started doing better and was able to have fun.  In fact he wanted to do it again.  So we did.  When J was struggling he would say things like "I want Dad!  This hurts! etc" and when he was having fun and doing well he would say "It's a beautiful day for skiing!"  He is so funny.  M, RM, and C were watching us come down the mountain.  B-man was anxious to get going on a bigger slope, and so I left J with M to go back to the room.  My one regret of the day was not letting him go a few more times, but he did end on a high note and had great memories of it, so that is good.  M had a good time with the little kids.  They got dinner and watched the skiers come down the mountain.  They tried to feed C with a bottle and had fun watching TV. B-man and I had a great time skiing together.  I had never skied at night before, and it was fun.  There were no lines, and the lift operators were all very friendly and helpful.  B-man had a few close calls...  Once he got off too early, and once too late.  Both were a little scary.  But the third time was just right!  I told him that we would ski as long as he wanted.  He had a great attitude, and when he was done he let me know.  We went back to the lodge, and got some hot chocolate.  I let him choose what he wanted for dinner and he chose a blueberry scone and a bag of chips.  We then headed back to the hotel room.  He had a nice hot shower and then settled in to bed.  Sleeping in hotels with kids is always an adventure!

Tuesday morning we got a slow start.  We watched a little TV in the morning and then headed off to breakfast.  They had a fantastic breakfast with the room, but it was cafeteria style which was a little tricky to navigate with all our kids.  We didn't trust them to hold their own trays.  We headed back to our room, and packed up our stuff to go home.  As we came into the town M dropped me off at a presidency meeting.   The kids had a fun time running around while we waited for the hostess to get home, then they were off and dropped B-man off at school.

Wednesday morning we were up very early to go to J's Hopkins University for a second opinion.  The treatment for testicular cancer is fairly standardized, but we wanted a second set of eyes on the pathology and the radiology as well.  We made it on time and had a good chat.  To sum up quickly they were okay with the plans that we have in motion and agreed with all of the pathology findings.  We then drove back home and relieved our friend who was watching the boys.  That afternoon we had a parent teacher conference with B-man's teacher.  It went well and we got some good insights into how he is doing in class.  That night one of M' counselors and his wife stole our kids and took them for the evening.  It was so nice of them!  We went to a quick dinner and then went and test drove a minivan.  We have wanted to do that for a while, it wasn't exactly the year we are looking at, but it was still worth the trip.  C screamed the whole time we were test driving the car.  I am sure that salesman was ready to have us leave his showroom!  We then went home so M could get ready for a stake meeting with the other bishops.  I hung out with C until the older kids got home.  We were all preparing for a big snow storm, and the snow was just starting to stick as the kids came home.  They had all gone to dinner at Red Robin and had macaroni and cheese with soda.  They were pretty thrilled about the evening. 

After the first run!  We did it!

Thursday morning we woke up to easily sixteen inches of snow.  Obviously school was cancelled.  We had a slow morning and then I headed out to start shoveling.  Snow is always easiest to shovel when fresh.  I had maybe cleared a fourth of the driveway when a friend who lives close by pulled up and told me he would be back in five minutes with more help.  Once they showed up the driveway was done very quickly.  I felt a little guilty getting help when my neighbor across the street did hers all by herself.  But I was very thankful.  All the boys had a great time in the snow.  RM lasted the shortest, but once the drive way had some access he enjoyed it more.  It wasn't as bitterly cold as it has been with other snow storms.  C hung out with M inside.  He felt so lame not being able to help shovel.  I came in for a break, and lunch and then headed back out to shovel the sidewalks.  It was a lot of work!  But it was very gratifying to see how much progress I was making.  I was a little sad to see the next morning that the snow plows had covered up much of my work in the front during the night.

Friday morning school was cancelled again.  I dropped off M at the hospital for some "work" and then drove back home.  I fed C, organized the boys and then dropped off the boys at a friend's and headed back to the hospital to be with M.  He was getting his port put in for chemo.  It took a little longer than expected, but it all went well and he was way more alert than we both anticipated.  I drove him home and picked up the boys.  He took it really easy the rest of the day.  That evening the family that had signed up to bring us dinner told us to just bring the kids over there so that we could have some quality time.  (It was Valentine's Day, but I did zero.  Next year...)  We went to a restaurant in town that we love and celebrated my birthday.  The kids had a great time, and two of the boys even ate their green beans.  (RM is not a fan...)

Saturday morning we were all up early enough that the whole family came to cheer me on in my ward basketball game.  The game was a blow -out which was good because we didn't have any subs, and I sprained my ankle in the last minute.  For about five minutes I thought I was going to be hobbling around on crutches carrying my baby and trying to take care of everything.  I was a little panicked.  But I was able to walk to the car, and then I iced it and took some ibuprofen and it helped a lot.  It's still swollen and sore, but I will be able to function!  Such a relief!  The rest of the day was pretty relaxed.  B-man did a bunch of his work, and in the late afternoon I took him and a friend sledding.  I had been promising him all week, and so I had to follow through.  But honestly it wasn't my best parenting decision.  Here's why... it was freezing and the slope was dangerously icy.  Plus I only had one adult and two kids that wanted to stay in the car, and three that wanted to sled.  That meant that I had to split my time, and no one was being monitored all the time.  I was so grateful when I was able to get them all back into the car with no one getting hurt.  (M had been sleeping in prep for working that night.)  When we got home M was awake and I started working on dinner.  Poor M has a cold.  Not how we wanted to start things off.  He helped get the kids in bed, and then was off to work.

Today has been another wild day.  I had everyone ready for church plenty early, but then C needed to eat.  So we ended up ten minutes late.  Oh well.  Church went well, poor M wasn't able to leave work early so he missed the first hour.  It was a hard morning for him.  He's sorer from the port than he thought, has a cold, worked all night, and is getting ready for chemo... Fun times!  After church we came home and had lunch.  We went for a Sunday drive to deliver containers to people that he brought food, and all the boys had naps.  We tried to let M sleep as long as possible before dinner.  After dinner M asked two friends to come give him a blessing.  It was wonderful, and invigorating for M. The boys even managed to be reverent.  Then it was the normal crazy bed routine, with M off to his last night of work.  Hurray for being done with nights!

We love you all!  Thanks for the prayers!  They help so much!

The C Crew

Finishing dinner in the room watching TV.

C doing tummy time on Dad.

RM showing how much snow was on our deck.

I love the hand sticking out.

Hopkins and a Port

Here's the medical update...

Monday... We went to "Chemo Class."  It took a long time, and was fairly interesting, but it was also super depressing.  One fellow was obviously having a hard time with being there.  There are three reasons people have chemo, and the office is very honest.  It's even written on a paper for you to sign.  The three reasons are "curative", prolong the progression, and "palliative" which is really just controlling the symptoms.  We are so grateful that we are in the "curative" category.  Afterwards M had some blood drawn and we met with the oncologist again.

Wednesday... Off early to have a second opinion at Johns Hopkins University.  We made it on time and were a little concerned when the doctor we were seeing was chiding that office personnel for giving him the worst exam rooms.  First we saw his "assistant."  She took a thorough history and did a quick physical exam of M.  Then they both came in and we discussed things. He was much nicer in person.  We were very open about getting a second opinion, so the appointment was fairly quick.  They agreed with the diagnosis and with the treatment plan.  They actually thought we could be less aggressive if we wanted, but M really wants to just do chemo and make sure all the cancer is gone.  I don't really blame him.

Before the port went in.

Friday M had a blood test to see how quickly his blood clots (or something like that) and then he had his port put in.  I came and waited during the port insertion.  I was a little worried because it was taking a lot longer than it was supposed to, but apparently they had just been a little held up.  M was awake and conscious during the procedure. He remembered everything.  He was pretty sore the rest of the day, but he is so happy to have it in!  As a side note this is the first time that having C with me was a hassle.  Apparently there was someone in there with something nasty, and so they wouldn't let me take her back with me to see M.  But they were very nice and had a nurse come out and hold her while I went back to chat with him.  Thankfully he was "with-it" enough to get himself dressed and out the door.

After!  I came in and he was eating a sandwich.

Life Update

Life here seems to be on fast forward.  We had C, then Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and were just getting into a routine, when we were thrown for a loop.  M noticed a lump on his testicle, and went to get it checked.  We found out it was malignant.  Here is the quick synopsis of what is going on.

17 January - went to the urologist, found out that I had testicular cancer

24 January - cancerous testicle removed

29 January - biopsy results came back, "good" type of tumor

3 February - Met with oncologist to determine treatment

18 February - Start chemo therapy (3-4, three weeks cycles) to remove cancer

Before surgery.

After... he was really sleepy.

C hanging out at the end of M's bed.

They had M mark the correct leg. We don't want any mistakes on which side!

Detailed story for those with more time.....

We met with our urologist (everyone should have one) on Thursday and spoke about the surgery, the biopsy and how I'm healing.  The surgery was a success!  Testicle was rotten with cancer and had to be removed.  All went smoothly.  The biopsy of the tumor came back as a "classical (or typical) seminoma" (page 2).  This is great news and very curable.  He didn't know the exact steps, but that I would be looking at chemo therapy as one of the steps to be healed.  My three-inch cut on the lower, left abdomen is healing well.  It's got a number of staples in it, which will be removed on Tuesday (4 February).  It still hurts to sneeze.  I still can't have the boys on my lap nor can I wrestle with them, but they have been very good at being gentle with me over the last week.  I'm not permitted to lift more than ten pounds over the next six weeks as the muscles heal...kinda feeling like a lame husband.

We met with Dr Sarma (oncologist) for the first time today.  We spent a lot more time there than we expected, and had all of our questions answered.  (We are still going to John's Hopkins for a second opinion, middle of next week, to confirm the treatment plan)  The conversation centered around the treatment plan to remove the cancer.  Since the testicular cancer has spread to the lymph nodes and [potentially] to the lung, radiation alone will not be enough to be certain that it's gone (Dr. Sarma is treating this like it's Stage 3 testicular cancer - chemo therapy needed, radiation won't be enough).  

I'll be starting a three-week, chemo cycle (total of 3-4 cycles depending on the treatment that we want to go with) 18 February.  The cycles (repeated 3 to 4 times) look like this:

Week 1 - chemo therapy (6-7 hours of treatment Monday-Friday)

Week 2 & 3 - rest up from chemo therapy 

I will be having either a PIC or Port put in next week; each of which is designed to deliver the drugs quickly and efficiently throughout the body.  The PIC [apparently] requires a little more daily attention throughout the treatment.  The port (although slightly more invasive to put in, and then remove at the end) will not get in the way at all.

Upsides

- Testicular cancer is the best type to get, as long as caught early enough. 

- We caught it early enough.  1-2 years down the road, I wouldn't be here typing this note

- I will lose my hair, and I hope that I won't have to shave for a while either

- I'm going to have a lot of time to read over the next few months (thanks to all those that have contributed to my library!)

- I hope to be more comfortable with needles, doctors, hospitals, etc.

- The view from the chemo room is beautiful. 

- We are going to "make" a lot of money on our cash-back cards!  (I'm hoping that Discover, Costco AmEx, or CapitalOne have an incentive to spend money at your local oncologist!)

- I have enough leave built up, with the addition of help from a medical-leave-surplus

- I'll live!

Downsides

- I won't be feeling well enough to swim throughout these treatments (I was hoping to get back in the pool in a few weeks)

- Chemo! 

- I'm going to have to miss some work