Hopkins and a Port

Here's the medical update...

Monday... We went to "Chemo Class."  It took a long time, and was fairly interesting, but it was also super depressing.  One fellow was obviously having a hard time with being there.  There are three reasons people have chemo, and the office is very honest.  It's even written on a paper for you to sign.  The three reasons are "curative", prolong the progression, and "palliative" which is really just controlling the symptoms.  We are so grateful that we are in the "curative" category.  Afterwards M had some blood drawn and we met with the oncologist again.

Wednesday... Off early to have a second opinion at Johns Hopkins University.  We made it on time and were a little concerned when the doctor we were seeing was chiding that office personnel for giving him the worst exam rooms.  First we saw his "assistant."  She took a thorough history and did a quick physical exam of M.  Then they both came in and we discussed things. He was much nicer in person.  We were very open about getting a second opinion, so the appointment was fairly quick.  They agreed with the diagnosis and with the treatment plan.  They actually thought we could be less aggressive if we wanted, but M really wants to just do chemo and make sure all the cancer is gone.  I don't really blame him.

Before the port went in.

Friday M had a blood test to see how quickly his blood clots (or something like that) and then he had his port put in.  I came and waited during the port insertion.  I was a little worried because it was taking a lot longer than it was supposed to, but apparently they had just been a little held up.  M was awake and conscious during the procedure. He remembered everything.  He was pretty sore the rest of the day, but he is so happy to have it in!  As a side note this is the first time that having C with me was a hassle.  Apparently there was someone in there with something nasty, and so they wouldn't let me take her back with me to see M.  But they were very nice and had a nurse come out and hold her while I went back to chat with him.  Thankfully he was "with-it" enough to get himself dressed and out the door.

After!  I came in and he was eating a sandwich.

Life Update

Life here seems to be on fast forward.  We had C, then Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and were just getting into a routine, when we were thrown for a loop.  M noticed a lump on his testicle, and went to get it checked.  We found out it was malignant.  Here is the quick synopsis of what is going on.

17 January - went to the urologist, found out that I had testicular cancer

24 January - cancerous testicle removed

29 January - biopsy results came back, "good" type of tumor

3 February - Met with oncologist to determine treatment

18 February - Start chemo therapy (3-4, three weeks cycles) to remove cancer

Before surgery.

After... he was really sleepy.

C hanging out at the end of M's bed.

They had M mark the correct leg. We don't want any mistakes on which side!

Detailed story for those with more time.....

We met with our urologist (everyone should have one) on Thursday and spoke about the surgery, the biopsy and how I'm healing.  The surgery was a success!  Testicle was rotten with cancer and had to be removed.  All went smoothly.  The biopsy of the tumor came back as a "classical (or typical) seminoma" (page 2).  This is great news and very curable.  He didn't know the exact steps, but that I would be looking at chemo therapy as one of the steps to be healed.  My three-inch cut on the lower, left abdomen is healing well.  It's got a number of staples in it, which will be removed on Tuesday (4 February).  It still hurts to sneeze.  I still can't have the boys on my lap nor can I wrestle with them, but they have been very good at being gentle with me over the last week.  I'm not permitted to lift more than ten pounds over the next six weeks as the muscles heal...kinda feeling like a lame husband.

We met with Dr Sarma (oncologist) for the first time today.  We spent a lot more time there than we expected, and had all of our questions answered.  (We are still going to John's Hopkins for a second opinion, middle of next week, to confirm the treatment plan)  The conversation centered around the treatment plan to remove the cancer.  Since the testicular cancer has spread to the lymph nodes and [potentially] to the lung, radiation alone will not be enough to be certain that it's gone (Dr. Sarma is treating this like it's Stage 3 testicular cancer - chemo therapy needed, radiation won't be enough).  

I'll be starting a three-week, chemo cycle (total of 3-4 cycles depending on the treatment that we want to go with) 18 February.  The cycles (repeated 3 to 4 times) look like this:

Week 1 - chemo therapy (6-7 hours of treatment Monday-Friday)

Week 2 & 3 - rest up from chemo therapy 

I will be having either a PIC or Port put in next week; each of which is designed to deliver the drugs quickly and efficiently throughout the body.  The PIC [apparently] requires a little more daily attention throughout the treatment.  The port (although slightly more invasive to put in, and then remove at the end) will not get in the way at all.

Upsides

- Testicular cancer is the best type to get, as long as caught early enough. 

- We caught it early enough.  1-2 years down the road, I wouldn't be here typing this note

- I will lose my hair, and I hope that I won't have to shave for a while either

- I'm going to have a lot of time to read over the next few months (thanks to all those that have contributed to my library!)

- I hope to be more comfortable with needles, doctors, hospitals, etc.

- The view from the chemo room is beautiful. 

- We are going to "make" a lot of money on our cash-back cards!  (I'm hoping that Discover, Costco AmEx, or CapitalOne have an incentive to spend money at your local oncologist!)

- I have enough leave built up, with the addition of help from a medical-leave-surplus

- I'll live!

Downsides

- I won't be feeling well enough to swim throughout these treatments (I was hoping to get back in the pool in a few weeks)

- Chemo! 

- I'm going to have to miss some work

More Baby Pics

Here are more pictures of the boys at the hospital...  Have I mentioned how much they love her?

And Then There Were 4!

So... I had a baby, kind of a while ago.  But she made it here safely and we love her...

At the hospital check in desk.

Thursday morning on November 7th I woke up and had several contractions.  They were not close together, but they were less than ten minutes apart.  I had just had a doctor's appointment earlier that week and the doctor had said that she thought there was a good chance I would deliver that weekend.  So I was trying to be aware of what was going on.  Also, I wanted to make sure M was there...  I texted M at work letting him know what was going on, then I had to get up and get going for school.  Things stayed about the same during the morning, and M decided to stay at work.  I got Benjamin off to school and then hurried to get ready for the RM's playgroup that was coming over that morning.  I debated about cancelling, but things had sort of tapered off and so I decided just to do it.  The morning went well, and the boys had fun playing together.  Matthias came home, and asked what he should do.  His boss kind of wanted to know what the plan was.  I felt great, and the contractions were super irregular, so I didn't really think anything was a "go."  I sent him to bed promising to wake him up if things changed.

C letting us hear her voice.

She was quiet for so long.

I think I am still amazed that she came so fast after breaking the water.

After playgroup we had lunch and played, then Robert went down for his nap.  I ran a quick errand with John to my doctor so that I could pick up something from my doctor for a test they wanted me to run after the weekend.  I didn't think I would make it until Monday to do the test, but I was being obedient.  Plus I needed something to do...  Things were still very irregular.  I did call and talk to Grandma E and she was super excited and reminded me that I could walk around to get things going.  Once I got home our day sped up.  It wasn't long before B-man got home from school.  We started working on homework and things, and I started working on dinner.  We were having the missionaries over for dinner that night.  Once again I debated about cancelling, but I was pretty sure I was okay.  By the time I was cooking dinner, I was pretty sure that the baby was coming today.  I was not in a panic, but the contractions were getting stronger and more regular.  While dinner was cooking I woke up Matthias and told him to let work know that he was not going in.  I packed my bags for the hospital.  The missionaries came over for dinner.  Everything seemed very noromal, except that B-man and J kept saying how "My mom is having a baby right now!" or other things to that effect.  I tried to just brush the comments off as childish banter.  I didn't want to freak out those poor missionaries.  We didn't let the missionaries dawdle.  The contractions were getting more obvious as real contractions, and I have a history of quick progression.  The missionaries left, and we went into organizing mode.  Matthias got the kids into the shower and in their pajamas.  I sent a quick email to our families letting them know that we were going to the hospital, and then I got into the shower.  I stayed a long time in the shower.  It felt really, really good. Once the boys were settled and in bed our neighbor came over to sit at the house and watch the boys.  We have great neighbors!  We threw the bags in the car and then we were off!  I remember that the moon was so beautiful on the drive to the hospital.  It was a beautiful moon that night.  Fifteen minutes after breaking my water C came into the world.  I saw her head emerge reached down and was able to pull her onto my stomach.  I don't have the words to tell you what that feels like, but it was truly amazing.  She was quiet for a bit.  Not scary quiet, just quiet, and then she started wailing.  They let her stay on me for a long time at least fifteen minutes before they took her to weigh her and clean her a little bit.  The nurses were all exclaiming when they weighed C.  She was a whopping 9 lb 5 oz and still two and half weeks early.  I really loved all the nurses that were in the room that night.  It was really a magical night.  I was so happy that I was able to know I was in labor, and that I was able to get M to the hospital and out of work in plenty of time.  And even though the last fifteen minutes were a little insane, the whole affair was very relaxed and wonderful.  C was so wonderful and the hospital let us hold her and feed her and love her without getting in the way.






We checked in at the hospital at about 8:15 and got into the gown so they could make sure that was actually in labor.  While we were there the friend that was with me when RM was born also came to be helpful.  They checked me and I was dilated.  I think to a 4 or 5.  We were then transferred to the delivery room.  We really had such a great time.  The contractions were not super close together, nor were they very long, so it was pretty easy to stay in control.  We were laughing and having a really relaxed great time.  When I felt a contraction coming I would get out of bed, lean over the bed with my hands on the mattress, and M and JQ would take turns squeezing my hips.  It was great.  After about an hour I started to get the shakes, so M started the bath for me.  I got in the bath and it felt so great.  I was in there for a long time.  At one point I went to get out of the bath, and it was so difficult to get out of the water, that I just stayed in for another twenty minutes at least.  Once I was out and back on the bed the contractions seemed much more intense.  The doctor came in to check me and I was about a 6/7.  I was really disappointing about that...  Have I mentioned how much I love my doctor?  By some divine blessing he has been on call for all my babies.  Seriously so lucky.  He really wanted to break my water, but I know that breaking my water makes it hurt a lot more.  So I didn't really want to.  After a little bit of debate on my part I decided to do it.  The doctor broke my water, and on the very next contraction things were intensified by a lot.  After two contractions I started having the urge to push.  The doctor let me know that if I wanted he would let me pull the baby out and onto my chest.  I had been pushing on my side, so eventually I rolled over.  It was an intense couple of minutes, but I was the most aware of any of my births about where the baby was and what I was doing.  Even though I was very uncomfortable.  Also I remember that C was moving around so much, during the labor.  I have not felt any of my babies move during labor, and she was really moving. 

The rest of the hospital stay was pretty uneventful.  I loved the first day, and then when it was time to go home, I was really ready.  It's hard to manage a wife and baby in a hospital, while your have three others that need to be looked after!

I Walk The Line

Today I've been married 11 years.  We are in a serious Johnny Cash phase right now in our house.  I think his lyrics do a pretty good job of summing up how I feel.

 I find it very, very easy to be true

I find myself alone when each day is through

Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you

Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light

I keep you on my mind both day and night

And happiness I've known proves that it's right

Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side

You give me cause for love that I can't hide

For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide

Because you're mine, I walk the line

M... I am so grateful you picked me.  I still think I got the better end of the deal, and now I have a lot of proof to back it up. Here is just one example... remember how I planned a camping trip and did it all even though I knew it was going to rain?  Remember how you came straight from work and arrived late at night and then got up early and made all the kids go swimming?  Nobody wanted to go swimming in the rain, but you made them and before long all the kids were laughing and having a fantastic time.  Nobody was thinking about how cold, wet, and miserable they were.  That is so typical of you, and watching you convince our kids to have fun and play in the rain made me fall in love with you all over again.  So yes.  I'm a fool for you.  And I would walk just about any line to be with you.

Here you are... making it fun, in the rain.

June 9, 2013

Dear Family and Friends,

This has been a full week... one that needs to be put down on paper of some sort.  Monday my sister T and her husband T were still in town.  M was off work so we decided to make a day of it.  We took them to lunch at our favorite burger places.  The restaurant is amazing, and the burgers did not disappoint, and they were delicious.  Then we picked up B-man from school, and drove to the airport where T dropped off their rental car.  Then we drove to the Udvar Hazy Air and Space museum to explore a little bit.  We had a great time, and were sad when the time came to drop off at the airport.  The rest of the day was pretty quiet in comparison.  It was a good thing that we knew we would see them relatively soon, so we didn't have to be so sad when they had to go home.

J after his last practice with his trophy.

Tuesday M was off work again, and we spent the day mostly working on various little things around the house.  That evening we had J's last soccer practice.  A friend organized a little team with friends where the kids got t-shirts and a trophy, but it wasn't through the city, just with friends. It was a great little experience for J, and he loved his trophy a lot.  Usually most practices he would forget that he was supposed to be practicing at some point during the hour and would run over to the play set and play.  That night after practice M and I went to dinner to celebrate his birthday.  The dinner was fantastic, and M had fun trying out every single flavor of lemonade that they had.

Wednesday M was back at work.  I spent the day trying to get things organized to go camping the next day.  I made our tin foil dinners, and gathered all the equipment.  I've decided that camping is really just moving on a small scale.  B-man had his end of the year party at school that day. I ran over quickly to drop off some watermelon for the party.

Thursday was the last day of school.  B-man was excited to be off and at school.  I watched a friend's kids while she went to the fifth grade graduation.  While the kids were playing, I did the finalizing of the preparations for camping.  M was working the day shift, so the plan was to pick up B-man and head to the campground on our own.  We would set up the tent, play and have fun and then M would join us that night.  I picked up B-man and our plan was going pretty well.  B-man and I were both pretty nervous about setting up the ten ourselves, but we were both praying that it would go well.  I knew it was supposed to rain, so I was also praying/hoping that the rain would hold off until after the tent was up.  About thirty minutes from the campground it started to rain and didn't stop raining.  We found the campground, and our campsite.  It was pouring rain.  I'm not going to lie, I sat in the car for a few minutes building up my courage for the job at hand.  Finally I got out of the car and started.  There was no way around it.  B-man and the kids immediately headed to a playground close by the campsite and were playing and getting wet.  Eventually they were too wet, and came back complaining.  B-man helped them watch a movie in the car while I kept working.  I laid out the tarp, got the tent out and started with the poles.  I had all the poles in and was just starting to put them in their spots to raise the tent when a man approached from a nearby RV.  He asked if I was putting up the tent by myself.  When I said yes, he kindly offered to help me.  I was so grateful, that I didn't even pretend to say no.  He was SO helpful.  He knew just what to do, and we had the tent up in no time.  Figuring out the rain fly took us a little to get it lined up, but at least by then it was on the tent keeping the rain out.  The man's name was Chuck, and he said that he had been sitting in his rv watching tv when he saw me pull up.  Then he saw that I was trying to put a big tent by myself, and just couldn't sit there.  Seriously an answer to prayer.  Not the answer I wanted I wanted the rain to stop, but Heavenly Father sent him instead.  It was so helpful.  Once the fly was on I grabbed a towel and dried up the inside of the tent.  By then I was soaked to the skin, and the kids were ready to go play, so I changed them into their swimsuits and we headed to the pool.  The kids were having a great time, and I wasn't.  But I really just decided to put on a happy face and try to encourage them to have fun.  The boys had a good time, and once they were done we sort of dried off, and then we used a large picnic area that was covered so that we could be a little dry while eating.  We had chicken salad, so it was a no cook night.  We then spent the rest of the evening exploring the (indoor) game center.  All the boys were watching others play games, and then eventually I let them all play one game.  They had a good time.  We then headed over to a different building to watch a live animal show that was going on.  The company had brought a snapping turtle, an alligator, and two different owls.  The boys were so excited and thrilled.  By then it was getting pretty late, and the boys were tired, so the

J wanted to do a silly face.

last five minutes I took the little boys back to the car and then B-man met me there.  It had been raining nonstop since we got there, and by now the car was smelling like a wet dog... but at least it was dry!  We drove back to the campsite, and then I tried to figure out the driest and best arrangement for our sleeping bags while the boys were in the car staying dry.  Luckily we all had some sort of pad that kept us off the ground.  The tent was mostly dry, but there were a few areas by the zippers that were leaking.  Eventually we all got in the tent, and the boys got in their spots.  It took a LONG time for everyone to settle down, and eventually I had to bring RM over and sleep by me because he was being SO wiggly and hard to settle.  I was so happy when M came in that night.  J and RM were both very wiggly during the night, and they both kept sliding into puddles into the tent.  At one point we had to take off J's shirt because he had rolled into a small puddle.  Luckily he didn't wake up.  But of course the boys were all up very early.  At least the rain had stopped for most of the night. 

Loving the fire, and no rain.

RM sleeping in a puddle.  He was a good sport.

So sleepy on the way home.

RM hates flies.  Good thing we got rid of them.

By the time we were up in the morning the rain had started again.  I had forgotten the cereal, and I didn't want to make pancakes, so we drove into the nearby town and got some breakfast.  There are some perks to camping near civilization.  I was so happy to be finally all dry and happy.  We gave M the tour of the campground when we got back.  We debated for a while about what we should do...  The pool wasn't open yet, and so we went to the jumping pillows.  The kids were jumping at first, and then when we were told they couldn't jump when it was wet, so they had a great time digging and playing in the sand around them.  We headed back to the camp and lit a fire when the rain was a little lighter.  We were able to get it going, and roast some marshmallows.  Having the fire cheered everyone up.  I had already told M, that as long as the boys were having fun we would stay, but I was not going to stay another night.  The forecast was for more rain all day, and M had to work all night the next night, and I knew that we were not going to have a good sleep, so I just decided that we would go when we were done.  Clearly I am wimpy.  But the boys were still having fun.  Once the pool was open we then went to the pool.  It was kind of cold, and I am really glad that M was there, because he made the kids have fun.  B-man was complaining and saying he wanted to go home, but M eventually won him over and he ended up staying in the pool longer than anyone else.  The waterslide did help.  While we were swimming I dried all our wet towels and clothes.  It was so nice to get out of the pool and have a warm towel and dry clothes.  We had another picnic lunch under the safety of the picnic center.  While we ate B-man was a mad man on the water slide.  Then the little boys went back into the game room, while B-man and M ate lunch together.  By this time the rain had turned into more of a mist, and so we decided to head back and take down the tent before it started raining harder.  It was a process, but with M it went pretty fast.  While we were taking down the tent M and B-man got the fire going again.  It was a decent fire with a lot less rain, and B-man had a great time poking and staring at the fire.  We got everything arranged into the cars and had a great time enjoying the fire until it went out.  The rangers came by and teased us about leaving after we had been through the worst of the storm, but there was no way I was staying.  Once the fire was out we headed out home.  There were a ton of flies in the van, and we tried to get them all out, but sure enough five minutes down the road the boys were freaking out (the sleep deprivation wasn't helping) so we had to pull over and try to get the rest out.  Once the majority were out of the car the little boys fell asleep within minutes.  They slept the whole way home, which was so nice.  B-man and M had a great drive home, and stopped at Sonic for some hydration.  Once home we quickly threw our dinner in the oven and then worked on getting all the wet stuffed laid out as much as possible in the garage so that it could dry.  B-man and M really vacuumed and cleaned out the car so that it didn't smell like gym shoes and mildew anymore.  What a relief!  As soon as dinner was over the boys all got ready for bed.  They all fell asleep quickly.

Saturday morning I went hunting at garage sales with a friend.  It was a good day.   The rest of the day we worked on getting things cleaned up and dried out.  We set up the tent in the yard to dry out and tried to get everything else set up too.  B-man had fun with a neighbor friend and the little boys were happy to read and follow me around while we were working.  Late in the afternoon we all headed to the pool.  The boys had a great time, and J somehow convinced some people at the pool to give him lots of snacks.  It was a little embarrassing.  We ended up staying longer than I realized and had barely enough time for dinner and bed.  Thankfully dinner was easy and quick to prepare.  That night M left for work and I worked on Primary things.

Sunday started crazy.  Things took longer than expected and we were a little late to church.  I hate that.  Then things settled down and went pretty well.  They called someone to do the nursery music, and that will really make my Sundays a lot easier.  After church we did our usual routine.  M was home sleeping and so we tried our best to let him sleep as long as possible.  We had a tasty dinner and then got the kids ready for bed.

We love you all!

The C Crew

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was on Sunday, and before I forget I wanted to write down the cute things that happened.  M was sleeping most of the day because he worked all night Saturday night and was going to work all day Sunday night too.  On the way home from church (alone as usual) B-man informed me that we were having ramen for lunch.  I was not so convinced; this is how our conversation went...
B:  Mom I am making you lunch today.
R: Well I am not sure you can make ramen.
B: Yes I can!  You taught me yesterday.
(That was a very casual conversation about it, but I guess ramen is pretty easy to cook.)
R: I'm not sure we should do that.
B: Mom, ramen is warm.  And warm = love, and I love you.  We have to have it...

How could I resist that line of thinking?  B-man successfully made ramen for lunch mostly on his own.  He was so proud of himself!

Then on Monday he brought home a little questionnaire about mothers.  This is what he said.

Write a list of ten words that describer her (me).  These are in his order...
1. nice
2. fun
3. good
4. cool
5. awesome
6. sweet
7. funny
8. tall
9. genius
10. magician

Obviously he was stretching at the end there... but it made me laugh.  Then on the other side he finished some sentences.

My mom is special to me because... she helps me.
When I am with my mom, we like to... play dodge ball.  (I've never played dodge ball with him, but I
                       will take it as a great suggestion to do in the future.)
I know my mom is very smart because... she teaches me multiplication.
My mom is good at many things.  One thing she's best at is.... helping me feel better.
I know my mom loves me because... she cares for me.


We don't make a big deal out of holidays around here, and lately I've been feeling so ill that I was just happy to be up and functional on Sunday.  But I didn't want to forget B-man's sweet efforts to help out that day.  It is the hardest job in the world, and little things like that make it seem a whole lot less difficult.  (For a few hours at least.)