The Two Week Wait

When you are trying to get pregnant there is something called “The Two Week Wait.” It’s name describes it perfectly. You wait two weeks to find out if you are pregnant. I had long ago stopped taking pregnancy tests. I figured that I was paying for a blood test, why would I cause myself any more mental anguish than I needed. Here’s the funny thing about the TWW. The whole time you try to stay busy. You try not to think about whether or not you are pregnant. To be honest most of the early pregnancy symptoms are also the symptoms for being about to start your period. So I try to ignore my body. I tried not to examine too closely what my body was doing. Honestly, I felt exactly the same as I always did.

The day of my blood test came. I went in the morning, had my blood drawn and then left. I know some women stay close to home all day, not wanting to miss “the call".” I just couldn’t do that. I had to do my day as normal as possible. Plus, where in other months I was very hopeful, this month I was not. I was really sure that it didn’t work. Both of our mothers knew that I wasn’t hopeful, but they both wanted updates as soon as possible. B-man and I went to Costco together. Costco is always a great outing for us. Just as we were walking out of Costco my phone rang. It was the doctor’s office. I decided I could answer it despite my proximity to other people.

The conversation went something like this…

”Hello?”

”Hi, is this R?”

”Yes”

”I have the results of your blood test.”

”Okay."

“Well, I’m happy to tell you that you’re pregnant.” At this point I am in that awkward space where you get the carts, half in, half outside. I immediately burst into tears. Big fat crocodile tears. I’m tearing up right now just thinking about it.

”Are you serious?!”

”Yes, I would never joke about this.” She then gave me some instructions. I hung up the phone, continued to bawl and said a prayer. I was completely dumbfounded. I tried to call M, but he wasn’t at work. B-man was a little confused by my tears and I tried to reassure him I was happy. On the way home I called my mom. When she got on the phone I couldn’t talk because I was sobbing uncontrollably. She started saying “Oh no, I’m sorry!” Somehow I was able to choke out a “No it’s good! I’m happy!” And then we both cried happy tears together. Happy tears are the best kind of tears to cry.

This pregnancy has not been without its challenges. There was a few weeks in there (right after announcing it to everyone) where I thought I might have another miscarriage. My little mantra became “I’m grateful to be pregnant today.” Because I was SO grateful. I finally was brave enough to take a home pregnancy test about two weeks later. I wanted to be sure it would say positive!

Not everyone’s road through infertility ends like ours. I am very aware of that fact. I can understand the pain that comes when despite all your best efforts things just don’t work. I don’t know why our story ended like it did. I am humbled that I am about to have this baby.

Here’s what I want everyone to know about infertility… (or at least the main things)

1. It affects way more people than you think. So don’t EVER make comments about when people are going to have kids. Or how people should just “relax” and not worry.

2. If you haven’t gotten pregnant after a year of trying, talk to your doctor. I would also add, that I am SO glad I didn’t spend time at my doctors. They wisely referred me to a specialist that could do the appropriate testing on both M, and me so we would know what was going on. I know a lot of people that wasted time at their regular doctor’s trying to guess.

3. The tests needed to figure out what is going on are not painful. (At least I didn’t think so.) They aren’t a walk in the park either, but don’t let the tests scare you away.

4. Finding out if there are problems can be much more empowering than not knowing. Once you know what is wrong, you can figure out what you want to do. If there is no hope of getting pregnant, or a quick fix, you can start figuring out how you want to proceed.

5. Ask around and find out which practices come highly recommended. They should all have published numbers on their IVF success rates.

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